THeRe'S An AnGeL On My ShOuLdEr...

Thursday, September 02, 2004

Interrupted Slumber 

My weird dreams are continuing. The other night involved the owners of the house I built with my ex bulldozing it. Not sure exactly what brought that one on, but it got me thinking about the old place again. I've never gone back to look at it since leaving it on 11/01/02. I know the next owners did things to it that made it look awful. Like fitting roller shutters. yuk! For the first time though, thinking about it didn't make me sad or upset. I know that if I had the opportunity to buy it back, I wouldn't. It's not what I want anymore. My taste has changed and I no longer feel the need to live in a house that looks like a display home. Don't get me wrong, it was lovely & alot of blood, sweat & tears (& money) went into it. If you can prune 30 David Austin Roses without drawing blood, you're a better man than me, Gunga Din. I am considering going to have a look it for a bit of closure. To recall & feel proud of the picket fence & gate I built with my Dad and all the other things I made for the interior, but won't get to see again. To be proud of that achievement & recognise that it's time to move on to the next one. To say goodbye to it, which I didn't really get to do as the new owners tried to move in before we had moved out! Bastards. 18 months later they sold it for a $70,000 profit. We lost about $20,000 on the sale ourselves. What is done, is done.

I have a dilemma. Well, it's not really mine, but as she is a close friend, I'm not sure what I should or can do. Her self-esteem has hit rock bottom. As a result she feels that nobody wants her or would consider her worthy of a relationship. Naturally, with this kind of attitude, that's exactly what she will face. What frustrates me is that she is 27 years old, tall & beautiful (in a Sandra Bullock/Julia Roberts kind of way), great figure (I'd kill for her tits & waist) with a loving, kind and warm personality. She's intelligent & funny, loyal and reliable. She doesn't see or believe any of this though. I don't knopw how I can change that. Anyone have any suggestions. I almost think it's beyond me. I think much of it stems from her previously being in a violent relationship and I'm not sure how to deal with that. I don't know how to help repair the damage it's done.

Off to make a cuppa...




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