THeRe'S An AnGeL On My ShOuLdEr...

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

Just Lay on the Couch Please 

Lately I have found myself increasingly becoming a pseudo Relationship Counsellor. Moi? A Relationship Counsellor? You are kidding right? Just how I would be qualified, I do not know! After all, I am single! I have had a few ask me, totally perplexed, why I am single? Yep, that is a very good question. I do not really know the answer. I do not think I am too fussy, though some might disagree. And even if nobody else agrees, I think I am pretty special actually. One of lifes many mysteries.

Anyway, some of the questions & problems have been interesting & I do not have any answers, and can often see things from both sides. I would be interested to hear the thoughts and suggestions of those that bother to read my utterly dull Blog.

One, who managed to extract herself from a very bad relationship, last year, finds she cannot move on & misses the prick. She finds she cannot put herself "out there" despite wanting to. She thinks she has lost her MOJO…..

Another is incredulous that her "former" (who was married- but let us not go there) now accuses her of seducing him!!! Hello! It takes two to tango. I doubt very much that she would have put a gun to his head. I think she might be justified to feel angry over that one.

Another mate is pissed off because the guy she is seeing keeps talking about all of his exes. This is a difficult one and it is another case where I can see both sides of the coin. His exes are a part of his life, and therefore will naturally be included in any stories he may tell of his past experiences. What would be inappropriate though would include any "intimate" references. I am not sure if this is the case, but if it were me, I would be pissed off hearing about previous intimate encounters on a regular basis. But even if that is not the case, I can still understand her discomfort at hearing about them all the time.

X broke up with his girlfriend - again. Fundamentally because she is almost as stubborn as he, and would not accept his offers of help. I don’t think he gets it. He does not understand her need to be independent and in control of her own life. But his reasoning behind his offers of assistance are also sound and his heart was certainly in the right place. Not sure there is a right or wrong answer. I pointed out that some of what she feels possibly stems from the fact that he is SO stubborn, SO independent and SO successful, that he does not NEED her help and that simple fact might just be making her feel like a bit of a failure, even when she is clearly not. I suggested he ask her for help in a few things, however minor. He replied “but I do not NEED her help”. That may well be the case, but it does not matter how minor it might be, many women like to feel needed.

Got any pearls of wisdom?




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