It would be nice not to think for a while. Particularly at the moment. My head is full of 'white noise'. I kinda understand why some turn to drugs to get some peace in the midst of all of the chaos. It's tempting, I admit, but not something I want to get into. It is only an illusion, and a temporary one at that. I see so many lives destroyed through the taking of drugs, and very few dig their way out of the abyss they ultimately fall into.

I know, as they say, that life wasn't meant to be easy, but I'm not sure it's supposed to be this hard either. Or is it? I am beginning to think that for some, I cause more pain than pleasure. As there are those that do so to me. It is not a situation I am at all happy with. It is foreign to me. I do not even recognise myself sometimes. Who I have become. I am not equiped to deal with the situations that I, ultimately, have created.

I am torn. I am in pain. I am afraid.

However, I am optimistic.

Patience, grasshopper..........