THeRe'S An AnGeL On My ShOuLdEr...

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Waiting For The Day... 

I'm wondering if I'll ever get to the point where I no longer have bad dreams & feel unsettled following a sighting of my ex-husband (against whom I have a restraining order). Saw him on monday night after a long period of not seing him at all and hoping/praying that that meant he was no longer living in the same area. Wrong! The dreams aren't nightmares, just leave me feeling stressed & pissed off - much like i felt when we were together really. This weeks bad dream consisted of me starting a new job (currently on the cards) only to discover that my ex worked at the same place. Wouldn't that be dandy? What to do? leave? wait for him to get sacked, which invariably happens? Dunno. It was only a dream. This cycle really pisses me off & I really didn't have any idea just how badly he affected me, and continues to affect me. You'd think I was a victim of long-term physical violence. I wasn't, but it feels like it. I just don't want to deal with his bullshit any more & i wait with baited breath after each sighting expecting him to resume stalking me, in one way or another. He probably won't. He's seen my better half, and must know he'd come off second- best. But he's more subversive than that...and that's the problem. I think he realises, after two attempts, that putting in unfounded Police Complaints about me, is not likely to result in me getting sacked.

I just wish he'd drop off the face of the planet.




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